My MSN Reflection and Gratitude

I recently finished my Master’s of Science in Nursing (MSN) program and I am overjoyed yet it feels unreal.

So, I thought maybe if I reflected a little on my experience and the goodness of God during the program, I will be able to fully express my gratitude to God and come to the reality that, it is indeed finished.

So, this MSN journey initially started in May, 2018. I said initially, because I withdrew from the program because I just could not handle the work load and the idea of being back in school again after just graduating with my bachelor’s degree in December, 2017.

So, I withdrew, waited and focused on gaining some experiences. 

In November, 2018, my school called and asked if I was considering signing up for classes that session. I told the man on the phone, “I am waiting on God. I don’t know yet. I will think about it and get back to you. Thank you.”

I prayed about it and I had peace to start again.

So, I did and thought to myself, “I’ve got this.”

Or so I thought.

I struggled so hard.

I missed so many deadlines.

There was so much information to read and understand.

There was days and session I had a hard time understanding the content or the assignments expected of me to complete.

I often thought, “Am I dumb?”

A friend took this picture of me via Face-time while I was being frustrated about my school work.

‘Am I ready for this?”

‘Should I have waited a few more years before starting a Master’s degree?”

“Should I quit?’

I asked that quitting question so many times more than I can remember. I probably thought about quitting a least twice during every eight week sessions.

The thought of quitting even kept me from telling friends and families about the Master’s program for fear of pressure or shame if I do decide to quit.

I finally and slowly told them but the quitting thought didn’t stop.

But thankfully they were there to counter that thought several times. 

They were there to encourage me and motivate me.

I also couldn’t stop because I had a vision and a focus. I wanted this degree. I chose this program.

In all these the one person who stood in, with and by me through it all was God himself.

When I say, “I couldn’t have done this without him,” I tell no lie and you probably won’t really understand the gravity of that statement.

There were days of crying and frustration as I stared at my assignments which are yet to be done and the other workload and responsibilities I had aside school such as a full time nursing residency program, teaching fulltime at a nursing program and let’s not even talk about the pandemic.

My to-do list often scared me to sleep (my coping mechanism).

But my God!

An assignment I had no clue on what to write would suddenly becomes one where I couldn’t stop writing. 

He kept blowing my mind over and over.

No mountain was too high.

No assignment or project was too difficult.

No discussion was too complicated.

He was there for me. 

During one of my last two courses, I had re-purposed an assignment without proper permission from my instructor and I was penalized for self-plagiarism. 

That messed me up so bad.

That had never happened before. My Turnitin scores were always perfect. 

And for a couple more papers, I was so paranoid about making another mistake or getting another penalty which could be worse than simply watching a re-education video this time. It could be suspension or expulsion. 

When I was already at the finishing end?

The devil tried y’all.

But my God!

I learned and grew through that experience. 

God was my study buddy. 

He started and ended it with me. And when I was weak, he was strong.

This MSN-ED is officially one of the hardest thing I have ever done. But I made it through by His grace alone. 

If I had a thousand tongues it would not be enough to thank him. So, I wanna borrow your tongues. Please simply say a big “Thank you” to God on my behalf. 

I also want to encourage you to lean on God. Lean on him and call on him before and when your strength fails you. He’s got you. He cares about everything that concerns you. He is for you.

The journey might be difficult but when you partner with God, success and excellence are the norm. 

God bless you all.

You are Eternally Loved. 

Author: Esther Ademiju

Esther Ademiju is founder and teacher of Growing God's Eternal Family. She is a growing student of the Bible under the teachings of the Holy Spirit and yearns to share what she learns with simplicity yet undiluted to all people. “God’s love is dynamic in dealing and one of the ways it can be shown through us to one another is by sharing, teaching & preaching His Word & Truth.”

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