A Letter to a Lonely Friend


Dear Beloved,

My heart couldn’t help but break when you said, you are surrounded by friends yet lonely. It made me really sad. I guess it really is true when the Bible says that we belong to one body made of many parts. And, if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it (1 Corinthians 12:26). So, I really felt sad when I read those words from you. I wondered, “Why and how can she be lonely? She is so friendly and has so many friends.” I couldn’t understand it but I wanted to comfort you.

However,  I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to truly relate to your loneliness and I didn’t want to diminish how you feel. I understand that though we all experience loneliness at a point or degree in life, I might not be able to fully and specifically relate to you. So, I tried brushing it aside hoping that you will come to find friends that would fill the void of loneliness in your heart. However, the Holy Spirit wouldn’t agree with me and kept you in my heart.

He reminded me that there is someone who can fully relate to you. Someone who gets everything you are feeling and long for. His name is Jesus. Let me share with you how lonely it was for Jesus on this earth. When we read the Bible, it sure doesn’t appear that Jesus was lonely. It seemed like He had it all together. But if we pay careful attention as we study the Word, we will see signs that Jesus felt lonely too. Jesus had left his heavenly home and divinity to dwell amongst us. He wasn’t of this world, and no-one could fully relate to His situation. In fact, the people He had come down to save did not recognize him and persecuted him instead.

Thus, the Bible tells us in several places (Matthew 14:23, Mark 1:35, Luke 6:12, Luke 22:41-44) that Jesus would often withdraw to solitary and quiet places to pray and communicate with His father (God) who truly understood, could relate to him and strengthen him.

 “One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray and spent the night praying to God.” _ Luke 6:12.

Jesus had 12 disciples, he had friends but they just couldn’t relate on so many levels. Spiritually, they were babies and couldn’t see what Jesus was seeing. However, Jesus knew that he could always go back and communicate with God and fellowship with him in his time of loneliness.

Oh, and there was this one time again that we saw how lonely Jesus felt in His spirit. This was when the time drew near for him to fulfill his mission on earth and die for our sin. He was greatly distressed. He was a man in the flesh like us. He was deeply grieved. He needed someone He could share what He was about to experience with but no one would probably understand him. So, he took some close friends with him, Peter, James, and John to the garden of Gethsemane and said to them in Matthew 26: 36 -38:

“Sit here while I go over there and pray…Then He *said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.” He needed his friends to be there for him.

Vs 39. And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” Jesus was real with God. He poured out what He was really feeling yet prays that God’s will be done.

 Vs 40 – 41. And He *came to the disciples and *found them sleeping, and *said to Peter, “So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour?  He was so disappointed that they couldn’t even join Him in prayer in this hard time. This was a very lonely time for Jesus because no one except God understood what he was about to go through. He was always giving his disciples hints about Him dying and rising again, but they couldn’t truly picture it and relate with him in this important time.

My dear, you have probably felt like this sometimes, you share something with your close friends and they just don’t get it and you feel alone in whatever you are facing. Like, Jesus, you can always find comfort in God. Because guess what, Jesus went to pray a second time and told his friends to also pray and keep watch but you know what? They slept again. But this time Jesus wasn’t angry with them, he had come to realize that they just won’t get it. And He had found strengthen from communicating with God.

VS 45 -46. Then He *came to the disciples and *said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up, let us be going; behold, the one who betrays Me is at hand!” He is like, “Fine! So you guys slept again. Anyways let’s get going, I’ve got a world to save. Let’s do this.”

There was a change in his countenance, attitude, and spirit. He found comfort and strength in the Lord.

Now, I know you might not be going through so much as Jesus experienced but what am trying to say is, Jesus gets you. He understands what it means to be lonely and long for someone who truly gets us. So, If Jesus felt lonely in this world, then it makes sense too that you feel that way because we are also not of this world. So you know what Jesus did for us? He loves us so much and He is truly a high priest that gets us because He has gone through it too. So, He didn’t want to leave us all alone, thus He sent the Holy Spirit to live IN us. Though Jesus is no longer WITH us physically, His Holy Spirit lives IN us every day and time. Why?

To comfort us in our time of loneliness.

This is why the Holy Spirit is called a comforter, advocate and the spirit of truth. Jesus literally lives in us so we wouldn’t feel lonely as we also fulfill our purpose in this world. As Jesus prayed for us in John 17:23, “I in them and you (God) in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity.” Through the Holy Spirit living in us, we can have fellowship with Jesus and God and never have to feel lonely. Like Jesus, we can withdraw to a quiet place when we feel lonely and communicate with God.

So dear friend, let the Holy Spirit be your best friend. He is a precious gift that has been given to you. Give him a chance, be conscious of his presence in you, talk to him and He will respond. Learn to hear his voice and you’ll never follow that of a stranger. You need help with an outfit or makeup? He can surely help you with that. You need help with work? He can help you. He has no limit. He can help with the seemingly unimportant and the most important things. He has been given to keep you company and comfort you here on earth. 

I pray that you will become so full of the Holy Spirit until you overflow so myself and your other friends can experience His comfort and joy through you.

There really is no friendship like that of the Holy Spirit. He is the best of all the best friends a girl (or boy) could ever ask for. He is always there to listen at every time of the day, in the darkest of night and earliest mornings. Cultivate a friendship with the Holy Spirit and you’ll never feel lonely even when surrounded by friends or not because you’ll be ever conscious of the Holy Spirit’s presence with you. I call Him Emmanuel (God with/in us now & forever). 

You are eternally loved, darling. Stay blessed.

Your Friend,


Author: Esther Ademiju

Esther Ademiju is founder and teacher of Growing God's Eternal Family. She is a growing student of the Bible under the teachings of the Holy Spirit and yearns to share what she learns with simplicity yet undiluted to all people. “God’s love is dynamic in dealing and one of the ways it can be shown through us to one another is by sharing, teaching & preaching His Word & Truth.”

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