Hello, Eternal Family,
Please note that this reflection on pride is very personal yet many could possibly relate to it. My ultimate prayer is that as you read this the Holy Spirit will illuminate your heart and reveal every form of pride in it and may you become intentional about being free from the sin of pride. God bless.
I, even I, am he who comforts you and gives you all this joy. So what right have you to fear mere mortal men, who wither like the grass and disappear?And yet you have no fear of God, your Maker—you have forgotten him, the one who spread the stars throughout the skies and made the earth. Will you be in constant dread of men’s oppression, and fear their anger all day long? _ ISAIAH 51:12-13
Pride is rooted in fear.
I am fearful of being rejected by men, so I put on a facade of pride. But truly I am just consumed by fear that I am inadequate and I don’t want you to know how weak I am so I well up the sin of pride and cover up my fear.
I really want to share my burden with you and ask you to pray for me, but I am fearful that you will think of me as a sinner and weak fellow because I have somehow convinced myself that a true Christian should be strong at all times. So when you ask me, “How are you” I reply arrogantly, “I am fine, I am great, I am blessed and highly favored.”
But don’t you hear my screams of fear?
Don’t you hear me screaming for your help and prayers?
I wish I will just do away with pride and show you my fears just as they are.
I am simply human. Imperfect.
Who is a man that I should be concerned about their judging eyes and mouths?
Who is a man but dust whose life is but a vapor that I should be overcome by this sin of pride because of possible rejection and condemnation?
Have I not heard and read that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus?
Have I not heard and read that God is my comfort and his perfect love will cast out all my fears so I wouldn’t need pride as a facade?
Have I not heard and read that God hasn’t given me the spirit of fear but of love, power, and a sound mind?
So, why am I fearful?
Do I not know that God is strong even in my weakness, so why do I need pride to cover up my weakness?
Maybe I have trusted myself and men more than I trusted God.
Maybe I trusted my works and men’s favors and connections more than I trusted God’s grace.
I took care of you in the wilderness, in that dry and thirsty land. But when you had eaten and were satisfied, then you became proud and forgot me._ HOSEA 13: 5-6
I have lifted myself and men above God and now I boast in me and I must continue to put up this facade lest people find out that I am truly nothing and constantly quivering behind my knees as I try to hold up the burden of being perfect at all times.
Oh, my prideful heart.
I make plans, promises and set goals without asking God for directions. Then I run to him when my plans fail. If only I had remembered God before making those plan and goals. If only I told you, “I will have to ask God first” before making those promises to you.
But I didn’t because I wanted to be praised by you and seem capable.
No, I am not capable without God.
How am I even to know that you praised me in your heart?
Oh, how deceived I am to think I can know or control the heart of men and what they think of me.
How foolish of me. Pride had blinded me. I should be seeking the approval of my God only.
So what if I look like a fool to you, men?
So what if you ridicule and put me down in your hearts, words and action?
So what if I always ask you for prayers?
The truth is I will always need your prayers and ask you to pray for me whether you do or not.
I’ll rather remain the humble child who looks to her Father (God) for everything than the prideful man who looks to himself and other and falls apart slowly.
Oh, pride is so wicked. So wicked to me.
Even as I slowly fall apart in fear, pride whispers, “Remain prideful, keep up the facade and keep it together. You must not show fear or ask for help, prayers and most importantly don’t run to God. You can do this on your own.”
I have been deceived.
People ask me, “Have you got no pride in yourself?”
I thought that meant a little bit of pride was okay but it’s a lie. I let in a little bit of pride and it grew so big without my permission and began to consume me.
I don’t want pride. I denounce it.
So if you ask me, “Have you got no pride in yourself?
Yes, I have got no pride. I don’t want it. Pride is never a good thing. There’s nothing like a good pride. How do you put the word “good” and sin in the same context?
Pride is a sin of the flesh and will always be. Never good.
Don’t confuse me by camouflaging pride as being good to an extent.
I don’t want pride.
I’ll rather remain humble and look to God.
I have no pride in myself but I have faith in God.
The Lord says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might, nor the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone: That they truly know me, and understand that I am the Lord of justice and of righteousness whose love is steadfast and that I love to be this way. _ JEREMIAH 9:23-24
Oh pride, I see you trying to sneak in again through fear.
Fear begets pride.
I know that now.
So when I am fearful, I know WHO to go to.
God help me and shine your love upon me that it might cast out this fear in me before it gives birth to pride.
I will be INTENTIONAL.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities in high places.
I must put on my full armor daily.
How are you, Esther?
I am fine but keep me in your prayers.
And when I am not fine, I hope I can share my burdens with you and you can pray for me.
I won’t be too prideful to request prayers.
And I won’t be fearful.
For all things are mine in Christ Jesus, so I need not fear man’s rejection or work for man’s acceptance.
I will rest in God’s approval and love.
I can be humble because I know God cares for me.
I don’t need fear nor a facade of pride.
I have been fearful and prideful for nothing.
Since he did not spare even his own Son for us but gave him up for us all, won’t he also surely give us everything else? _ ROMANS 8:32
I have ALL things in Christ Jesus.
I am God’s child. He is my inheritance.
TRUE ROYALS DON’T MAKE NOISE
TRUE ROYALS ARE NOT FEARFUL NOR PRIDEFUL
TRUE ROYALS ARE DIGNIFIED AND HUMBLE.
If at all I must boast, I am permitted to only boast in my knowledge and understanding of WHO my Father (God) is, He is a God of steadfast love, justice, and righteousness.
He cares for me, loves me and his promises to me, he will fulfill.
I AM SATISFIED IN GOD.
You are Eternally Loved.