PORNOGRAPHY, MASTURBATION, SEXTING, FORNICATION (PRE-MARITAL SEX), PROSTITUTION, SEXUAL THOUGHTS, & “VIRGINS.”
Hello, family! I am so excited we are doing this. It’s quite a long one today, but please I ask that you read through. Thanks. God bless.🙏🤗
First, we are going to look at some definitions and statistics to clear any ignorance or unawareness and get everyone on the same page before we look into the word of God (Bible).
Sexual intercourse is defined as heterosexual (opposite sex) intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis.
Pornography is defined as printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.
Masturbation is defined as erotic stimulation especially of one’s own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or another bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies.
Fornication is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons.
Sexting is defined as sending sexually explicit photos, images, text messages, or e-mails by using a cell phone or other mobile device.
Prostitution is defined as the act or practice of engaging in promiscuous sexual relations especially for money
A few statistics on pornography
- 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to Internet porn before the age of 18
- The first exposure to pornography among men is 12 years old, on average.
- 70% of boys and 23% of girls have spent more than 30 minutes looking at online porn on at least one occasion
- 71% of teens hide online behavior from their parents.
- 20% of 16-year-olds and 30% of 17-year-olds have received a sext.
- Only 3% of boys and 17 % of girls have never seen internet pornography.
67% of young men and 49% of young women say viewing porn is an acceptable way to express one’s sexuality.
- Happily, married men are 61% less likely to look at porn.
- 56% of divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.
64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women say they watch porn at least once a month.
- “64% of youth pastors and 57% of pastors struggled with pornography currently or in the past. 54% of youth pastors who currently struggle “live in constant fear of being discovered.” 41% of adult Christians think pastors should resign if they are found using porn; only 8% of pastors think so. No wonder they live in constant fear!” – Covenant Eyes
A few statistics on masturbation
- 95% of men admit to masturbating, compared to 89% of women
- For married individuals, the rate is 70% for both men and women
- 61% Christian men admit to masturbation. Only 13% consider the practice, “normal.”
- More than 40% of males and 22% of females admit to masturbating daily.
- 30% of suicides by males between age 12 & 20 are attributed to auto-erotic asphyxiation (intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for the purposes of sexual arousal.)
- 40% of women prefer masturbation over sex.
HMMMMN. Sighs … As I did this research, my heart kept sinking. Pornography, masturbation, sexting and fornication as a whole has found it way in the church and the body of Christ.We act like we are innocent while we indulge in sinful acts in secret and because of this many are trapped in sin, guilt, and shame because they think they are in this alone. You think you are the only one going through this temptation and everyone else is perfect. Well, with the statistics above which is just a tip of the iceberg, I can assure you, you ain’t alone. The devil is very busy, and he is holding so many souls than we can imagine in bondage.
So, we are going to address each act of sexual immorality one after the other.
PORNOGRAPHY, MASTURBATION & SEXTING
Now, many will argue that pornography, masturbation, and sexting is not a sexual immorality and nowhere in the Bible are these words used. That is right. The word “sexual immorality” which the KJV refers to as “Fornication” is mentioned about 26 times in the new testament. The Greek word for it is “Porneia.” From Thayer’s and Smith’s Greek lexicon, PORNEIA is defined as;
1. Illicit sexual intercourse
a. adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals, etc.
b. sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
c. sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11,
2. Metaphorically, the worship of idols
of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols
Also, from this definition, pornography, masturbation, and sexting are not listed. As a result, many people are able to justify their sins. However, the Bible says in Galatians 5: 25, “ If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” So, as a believer, you can’t tell me that you are walking in step with the holy spirit and he allows to watch porn, masturbate and send or receive sext without any inner convictions. The Bible clearly tells us what the fruits of the spirit are in Galatians 5: 22 -23. In verse 24 It says, “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” What are these fleshy passions and desires? They are also well listed in Galatians 5: 19 – 21, “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature (flesh), the results are very evident: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these.” Note: the first three fleshly desires are quite similar, and at the end, it says, “and other sins like these.” So, it is safe for us to include pornography, masturbation, etc. here? And is it also safe for us to say that you are a believer who has been living while feeding your fleshly desires?
Well, you might say, “Esther, I am not a believer so this doesn’t apply to me.” Actually, you are wrong. Fine, you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ into your life, and you don’t have his spirit in you yet, but you have something called Conscience. We all have this, believer, or not. Our consciences, like an inner feeling or voice, tells us when we are doing something good or bad. So, even though the Bible doesn’t explicitly state that watching porn, masturbating and sexting are bad which is probably due to the absence of these words and vocabularies in the Bible days, our consciences should tell us.
We might say, “Nah, Esther, my conscience has never said that.” Really? So why do we hide it? Why are we watching porn and masturbating in secret and the only people that probably know we do it are the friends we do it with? We hide it from our parents, spouses, and people we respect and we don’t want them to find us disappointing. From the statistics above, above 71% teens hide their online behaviors from their parents. If we say pornography and the likes are not a sin, why don’t we tell everybody we watch porn and tell everyone we masturbate? I mean nobody wants to hide something good, and we are not scared of people finding out if right?
Also, our conscience is probably not telling us anymore because we have grown so immune to it. The more you watch porn and masturbate the less sensitive you will be to it. It becomes an everyday norm, which it is not.
1 Thessalonians 4:3 (NLT) says, “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from ALL sexual sin.” The world’s definition of sex or sexual intercourse has been redefined from the one mentioned earlier. Nowadays, it isn’t restricted to heterosexual anymore, it is also homosexual now, and people don’t need a partner to derive sexual pleasures anymore. Pornography, masturbation, sexting, etc. have been introduced to help people dwell in sin more. The devil is so at work. The Bible actually mentions this in Romans 1: 30b (NLT), “They invent new ways of sinning.” And we see many teens, even adults and even Christians and pastors indulging in such sins.
The world will tell you, pornography and masturbation are not sins. In fact, scientific studies say men who masturbate are less likely to develop prostate cancer and cervical infections in women with frequent personal stimulation. This is so crazy, we come up with justifications and excuses for our sinful ways.
Also, let’s talk about time. The statistics about says, more than 30 minutes is spent watching porn. Time is life guys. Have you ever thought about the fact that the time you spent watching porn and indulging in sins, people are dying and would beg for more time to spend with their families while you just wasted it to indulge in sin? We take things for granted way too much. We’ve gotta change.
Fornication (pre-marital sex) is also not a big deal in the world today. Many will say, “Am I not allow to test what I wanna buy before I buy it?” This means, “Shouldn’t I know if the man or woman will be good in bed before we get married?” How insane is this? We just wanna satisfy our sexual cravings with a man or woman person created in God’s own image & likeness and probably dump them. Does he or she look like a car, that we gotta test drive it? Do we think God hasn’t fearfully and wonderfully created him/her to be ready and perfect for us?
If we continue from reading 1Thessalonians 4, in verse 4 -5, it says, “Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.” Sure, our hormones are gonna get pumped because we were designed this way by God. But, we must learn to control these hormones and be careful not to allow them to turn our hearts away from God. Self-control is one of the fruits of the spirit that we must have. We should be able to control our bodies.
Although, the society doesn’t make things easier for us, though. Everywhere we turn now, it’s all about sex, you can hardly find a movie without at least one sex scene anymore, then you are walking or driving down the street, the ladies are almost naked with extremely short and seductively revealing clothes. But then, this is where self-control comes in. We must pray, walk with the holy spirit, listen to him and we will be able to overcome such temptations.
A man and a woman are supposed to be virgins before their marriage and have sex when they get married. But, that is not the case anymore, even though it is still kinda required for the females, the males are a little exempted. Because being a virgin doesn’t make you a “real” man. And if you are a virgin, people tend to label you as gay. So, you are supposed to have fun with as many girls as possible before you finally get married to one.
This is entirely wrong. There is time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1) including sex. Sex is only good in marriage, between married couples, who have been bonded by a covenant in God. Outside of that, it is a SIN & a DISHONOR to God.
So, if you want to have sex, get married. Get a husband or a wife (1 Corinthians 7: 2) so you won’t commit sexual immorality.
You might say, “Esther, yes, we do plan on getting married, we are engaged right now, and very committed to one another. So, can we just have sex now, do we have to wait?” Yes, my dear. You have to wait. See, 1 Corinthians 7: 9 (NLT) says, “But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” It also says in vs. 36, “But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin.”
There are so many consequences that come with fornication such as; Abortions, unwanted pregnancies, STD’s, HIV, AIDS, HPV, some many viruses and the very common one today, “BABY MAMA.” Nowadays we have more “Baby mamas” instead of “Mother of my child or my wife.” The devil is very vicious and knows exactly how to get humans, and he is doing an excellent job while we are just sleeping and relaxing. The Christians who should not ignorant of his schemes (2 Corinthians 2: 11b) but we have relented and just allow themselves to fall into the temptations while the unbelievers are just basically lost in the world. They have no guide whatsoever. Where exactly are we heading?
We must not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever – 2 Corinthians 6: 14. This is not restricted to only marriage. It starts with the dating life. Make sure you are dating the right person. Don’t go yoke yourself with an unbeliever because he is handsome or she is beautiful. He or she doesn’t know what the Bible says, and they are gonna wanna have sex with you. Amos 3:3 (NIV) says, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Yoke yourself with a believer who understands, who loves God and has agreed to have no sex before marriage.
Now, even if he or she is a believer, please don’t go testing yourselves and putting confidence in your flesh by spending so much time together in private areas. You set up the atmosphere, sit close to each other, watching a movie, eating popcorn, you hold each other, start kissing and then before you know it, you have sex, and when you come to your senses, the deed is already done. And I can tell you, that was very intentional. You had every chance to avoid that but you went ahead to watch the movie with a sex scene anyway, followed him to his/her house anyways, and now you are blaming the devil. We must always be on our toes. The Bible did tell us to, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour – 1 Peter 5: 8 (NIV).” If you are dating someone and all that person does is feed your flesh and not your spirit, and you have noticed that since you started dating that person, your relationship with God seems to be suffering instead of growing, then my dear, it is time to let such person go. Don’t risk it or try to compromise. May God help us in Jesus name. AMEN.
Prostitution has become a big time “Career and occupation” today. Our ladies and guys don’t want to work anymore, and prostitution is now a full-time job. We tend to blame it all on the society and economy. Fine, we finished school, and there is no job, and we think the next thing to do is carry our bodies and lay with men and women around? We decide, “to use what we have to get what we want.” Wait! Who told you that body belongs to you? Especially, if you are a believer. Your body ain’t yours anymore, it belongs to God. 1 Corinthians 6: 13b – 20 (NIV), “The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power, God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
As a believer, you are a member of the body of Christ, and you can’t take that body and go lay with a prostitute. And you who is a prostitute and a believer, you have no right to use your body for whatsoever you which, you are no longer yours. God bought you at a price. A very expensive one at that, his ONLY son had to die for us so we could be restored back to the Father (God), and we dare not take that (his love & grace) for granted.
Aside from the fact that the holy spirit lives and dwell inside of us, we are also committing sin against our own bodies. Prostitution comes with some nasty consequences for your body and health. Sometimes, your customers want some “flesh to flesh” intercourse, and you do not protect yourself, which exposes you to the chance of contacting some viruses and getting pregnant. And because you do not want to ruin your “career” you keep aborting innocent babies, and due to frequent abortions, your womb could get damage, and the doctor tells you, “Sorry, but I don’t think you could ever get pregnant again.” And when you are ready to finally settle down and have kids, NO CHILD. Hmmm
Again, you might say, “Esther, I am not a believer, so I am free to do what I want with my body right?” You are quite right about that. But, this is why I am telling you to accept Jesus into your life. Besides, you have heard enough sermons and have also read this post till this point, and you will be held accountable for it. You got no excuse, my dear. You can’t claim to be ignorant anymore. And as we read earlier, “The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body – 1 Corinthians 6: 13b” Believer or not.
Also, prostitution is not limited to sleeping with young guys or ladies (many soul ties) we are also sleeping with older men and women (some who are old enough to be our parents), and they are called, “sugar daddies and mummies.” These are husbands and wives who are supposed to go home and have sex with their partners. But instead, they go to a prostitute to get their satisfaction. And, they go home late, exhausted and drunk and they keep spending the money which they are supposed to spend with their families on a prostitute. And this could lead to discord and disharmony in a peaceful family. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 6: 16 (NLT) that there are seven things that the Lord detests and one of them in verse 19 is, “a person who sows discord in a family.” And someday, we are probably gonna get married too and have our own little family, and somehow we think we won’t reap what we sowed especially if we haven’t repented and asked for forgiveness. Galatians 6: 7 -8 says, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”
This is a so-called occupation that we are not proud of, so why? Why sell your virginity and body for money (paper)? Now, we even try to come up with classic names for the word, “prostitute.” Why, are we so embarrassed to say the word? “Esther, you can’t understand, there is no job, I have no choice.” You have a choice, my dear. We always have choices, and we get to decide what we are gonna do with our lives. Did your friend pressure you to join them? You had a choice to say no, and you still do. It’s never too late. If there is no job, please, go learn a trade. Don’t be too proud. “I am a graduate of this and that, how can I learn a trade?” Find something that interests you and do it. Use your talents. Be hardworking, don’t be lazy. PRAY!!! Don’t long for easy money. There are no shortcuts to success, there’s always a catch sooner or later.
All our actions start as thoughts, and sometimes we can’t control what we think about, but we must learn to control them before we begin to act on them. The word of God can help us with this. We must use the word of God as a filter for every thought that go through our heads, and we will be able to decide which ones to filter out or filter in. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:5b, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” We must start capturing every thought including sexual ones that go through our heads and make them obedient to God’s word. Now, this is where studying our Bibles comes in. Many Christians have turned their Bibles into an accessory, and many don’t even have one. How are you suppose to fight a battle without a sword? The Bible tells us the word of God is the sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6: 17). So, without you feasting on the word of God, the devil will keep messing with your head because you don’t even know what you are supposed to be thinking about and what you shouldn’t be thinking about. Well, Philippians 4: 8 (NLT) do tell us what to think about, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” So, when a sexual thought gets in, capture it and discard it, don’t dwell on it. Not even for a second.
Also, we must guard our heart and watch what we let in (Proverbs 4: 23). Avoid things, situations, even a person that triggers you and makes you start having sexual thoughts. If it occurs when you are idle, then get busy my dear. And most importantly, PRAY!!! God will help you. Don’t lean unto your own understanding and put confidence in your flesh thinking that you can figure everything out on your own. Get help from God. The Bible says, “You do not have because you do not ask God – James 4:2.” And when you ask, trust and have faith that he will surely answer.
The term “Virginity” has been so streamlined to just genital – genital intercourse.
Oral sex and anal sex has been excluded. We must realize that sex is sex. Studies do show that some virgins and abstainers from sex still come down with many sexually transmitted diseases. We gotta stop deceiving ourselves. Don’t go saying, “Thank goodness, I am a virgin, I am holy and pure, and I haven’t had sex with my boyfriend.” Really, are we too sure about that? Are we virgins who watch pornography, masturbate, send or receive sext, dwell on sexual thoughts, engage in oral and anal sex, etc. ? You are a virgin physically and medically but what about emotionally and spiritually? Please, we shouldn’t deceive ourselves. A spade should be called a spade, and a sin should be called a sin. We won’t try to make a change or find a solution until we accept that there is a problem. We could go round and deceive the whole world. But, we can’t fool ourselves and God. So, let’s be honest with ourselves and flee from those sins.
1 Corinthians 6:12 says, “Everything is permissible, but NOT everything is beneficial.”
We all have our free will, and we are free to use them how we desire. However, we must know that some of the consequences of our actions won’t be pleasant.
We are free to watch porn, masturbate, fornicate, get involved in prostitution and dwell on sexual thoughts, but the result I can tell you is that of destruction. So many stories in the Bible tells us this, and we should learn from those and not make the same mistakes. The world paints sin as being glamorous and classy, but the Bible shows sin for what it really is. Romans 8: 13 (NIV) says, “For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” Please, I do not want you to die because of mere sexual pleasures. I when I say die, I mean the second death in hell (Revelation 21:8).
So, “Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls – 1 Peter 2:11 (NLT).” Sexual sins and worldly pleasures and passions are constantly waging war on our souls and we must stay away from them at all cost. The devil is well aware of how pleasurable sex is, and he uses this particular sin to draw more people into his kingdom. We must be on our toes and stand firm. We are just temporary residents here, we shouldn’t get too comfortable or else we won’t be returning home (Heaven) but to a foreign and uncomfortable place (Hell). Let us deny ourselves and crucify our flesh. You can’t afford to give your flesh everything it wants.
So, please FLEE from sexual immorality – 1 Corinthians 6: 18. “But Esther, fleeing makes me feel like a coward.” My dear, a living dog, is better than a dead lion (Ecclesiastes 9: 4). We have a lot to learn from Joseph in Genesis 39: 6 -23. Potiphar’s wife tried to get Joseph to lay with her, but the Bible said in vs. 12b, “But, he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.” Joseph ran (fled). That decision did cost Joseph a lot, he had to spend about 2 years in prison before God rescued him and brought him into his purpose for him. So, my dear some sinful opportunities you decide to let go because of your fear and love for God might cost you quite a lot, but trust me, what God has in store for you is far greater than that. What he has for you is eternal (forever & permanent) but what the world offers you is temporary. So, at all cost, flee from sexual immorality and impurity and remain pure and holy before God. And of course, if you have already committed any of these sexual sins, I want you to know, it’s never too late to repent, forsake your ways and God in his infinite mercy and grace will forgive you (Isaiah 55:7) and welcome you home again.
Thank you so much for reading. Do not hesitate to get in touch if you have a question, need encouragement, support, accountability or have a prayer request. Just fill out the form on the CONTACT page.
Please, Stick around and be back here tomorrow for DAY 2 – Homosexuality (Gay and Lesbianism) and Bisexual. Here is the link FLEE!!! – DAY 2
DeHaas, R. (2016, January 19). What are the most up-to-date stats on pornography? Covenant Eyes. Retrieved from http://www.covenanteyes.com/2016/01/19/what-are-the-most-up-to-date-stats-on-pornography/
Thayer & Smith. (2015) “Greek Lexicon entry for Porneia.” “The KJV New Testament Greek Lexicon” Retrieved from http://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/kjv/porneia.html
Wysaski, J. (2011, April 18). Infographic: Masturbation Facts and Statistics. Pleated Jeans. Retrieved from http://pleated-jeans.com/2011/04/18/infographic-masturbation-facts-and-statistics/